My Story [Emily] pt 3

This all happened in the autumn of 2006 and at that time Brandon was holding prayer meetings in his back garden around a bonfire. I went to one and we were asked to choose a favourite verse, something which had been continually in our thoughts, so that we could pray over it. I had begun reading bits of the Bible by that point although only isolated verses or chapters that I happened to open on. The verse I chose, although I had no idea why at the time, was Revelation 3:8:

I know your deeds. Behold, I have set before you an open door, and no man can shut it. For you had a little strength, and have kept My Word, and have not denied My name.

So that evening I prayed over that verse around the bonfire with my soon-to-be pastor, Brandon, and other members of my soon-to-be church family, and something just changed inside me. There is something incredibly powerful about declarations of faith, even ones which you are not sure about until you say them. It is like being a baby again; taking your first tentative, wobbly steps; not sure you can really walk until you begin walking but once you start you gain more and more confidence and suddenly you can’t remember ever not knowing how to walk, it is suddenly part of your nature. That evening, going home from the prayer meeting, I felt as though I had a fire burning in my heart. I woke up at 1am that night and got a text from the friend. She was very upset about something and for the first time in my life I did not offer her my own counseling or advice. I ran straight to my Bible and offered her God’s Word. So that was the beginning of my journey onto this strange and beautiful path we call “Walking with God”. Since then there have been ups and downs; times I felt like chucking it all in; times I was scared to open my Bible or go to church; times I have hurt my brothers and sisters or myself or worst of all, God.

There have been doubts – coming from a background where I was always taught to question and reason one of the hardest things for me was reconciling my faith to my need for everything to make logical sense. There has been pain – God does not stop you from hurting, but He does make pain bearable if you can cast your burdens upon Him and rely on Him to get you through. But there has also been love and joy like it is not possible to express in human words.

And in these past two years, that scripture I chose when I wasn’t even sure what I was doing has become more and more important and sometimes was the only thing which kept me going and encouraged me to have a little strength, keep His word, and not deny His name.

- Emily